Love and Laughter

Yesterday we went swimming. I'm so thankful for a sweet friend who offered up her pool (and her ear, her laughter, and her crew of kids) to make the day great. Vika LOVED the pool. She had told me she could not swim but it turned out she did know how. And I am using the word "swim" loosely here- as there was lots of flailing arms and splashing at first. But hey- no one had to jump in after her so I call it swimming!! 


She LOVED the diving board and despite the fact that every single attempt at diving ended up a belly flop - she kept trying. We just learned to laugh as her head popped up smiling and she insisted it didn't hurt and went back to try again. Despite lots of instruction- even by my friend's son who speaks Russian-  she just couldn't seem to bend at the waist! But she was smiling the whole time and said it was her favorite of all the things she has done so far. 

Her new favorite

And with that.... her "bucket list" is complete. Looks like its time to dream some new dreams, Vika!!!

And for those of you who think the updates aren't enough and want to be a fly in the wall while we are hosting, I have to share these videos. Vika has loved "Dance Now" on the Wii and would play it 24/7 if we would let her. Aiden has watched her so much that he wants to join in and dance, but he watches carefully the whole time to make sure Mom isn't pulling out her camera. If he even thinks I might be taking a picture or filming he scurries away back to privacy. So I usually get lots of video like this..... 

But on one rare occasion he forgot to keep one eye on Mom and I collected this rare footage of what happens when Aiden stops being shy and lets the real rock star shine through. Do NOT mention this to him because he will NOT be happy with Mom - but when you are 6 years old there is no real legal recourse, so......

The end is the best. Wait for it.... wait for it...... 

Happy Wednesday!

"I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter." 

                                                                      - Yakov Smirnoff  

The Most Radical Kind of Obedience

Yesterday I met with a friend who happens to be Russian and for the first time I was able to really communicate with Vika. It gave me a lot of insight and it was helpful in the most unexpected ways, too. It really confirmed what I felt like God was asking of us- and what He wasn’t. Brian and I are crystal clear and on the same page about it and for that I am thankful. But we should have know that- He already said "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21). Remind me never to doubt Him. 

We have learned so much more in the past 9 days than we usually learn over several months time. And it’s not at all what we thought we would be learning. It’s a very different thing to love and invest in a teenager- especially one who has years of living as an orphan behind her. It often doesn’t come naturally and it takes lots of understanding and effort to see things through her eyes. Just for one example, she doesn’t recognize that we are a family unit. As Brian said, she just sees us as people who all live in a house. She is very vocal about the fact that she loves Mama, Papa, Kayla, and Gavin. Because when you have not known what “family” really means everyone is an individual. For the most part Aiden is oblivious to the fact that she merely tolerates him because he is young and doesn’t know any better. Isabella, on the other hand, feels every bit of it and wears it on her face. So Sunday after church everyone ate lunch and then Isabella and I went out for some much needed “Mommy-daughter” time. We bought groceries – because lets be real- Mama doesn’t actually have any free time- but first we talked over ice cream. I reassured her of her oh-so-secure place in this family and we got to talk about why we wanted Vika to come in the first place and what it means to love like Christ loves. She is my most sensitive child and yet so eager to try and love like Christ in the face of rejection. And I think she is doing a pretty fantastic job of it to only be 10. Actually, I think she is doing a pretty fantastic job- period.

Vika is a sweet, precious girl but there is so much she still has to learn about love and family. God has put her in our home for seven weeks and that means we have been given some big challenges and also an awesome opportunity. I don’t believe God ever does anything without some eternal value, and I think we are beyond blessed to get a part in that.

The thing that has helped most has been seeing other people come to stand beside us and help. God has been faithful every step of the way. 

Every.single.step. 

And the majority of the time that happens through other people. A couple of friends gave us clothes their girls’ had outgrown- which fit just right and relieved what would have been a big financial burden on us if we had to purchase all those things. We had purchased a few things already and just a few things adds up fast. Of course, we should have already known He would take care of that, too because in Matthew 6 He said “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:28-33). Yeah- that is me- the "you of little faith" part. Remind me to trust Him. 

Another friend sat down to translate so we could communicate, helped us get tons of Christian music in her language, and even the Bible on audio so she can understand it. She let us borrow good movies and helped us find a place to get good books (that I never would have found by myself). Another friend offered up her place if we want to take Vika away for a couple of days to experience her first ever “family vacation” while she is here. Saturday my mom brought crafts to keep all the kids entertained while we sat and talked and stuffed our faces with chips. Others have prayed and sent notes of encouragement at JUST the right moment. This weekend I had an hour to sit with sweet “sisters” and pray together and talk about joys and struggles—and that my friends, is priceless. Sometimes even to be able to listen to someone else’s honesty about their own struggles reminds us it’s ok if it’s hard sometimes.

And the most amazing thing is- that with each of these people it appears as if they are really convinced these are small things. It is as if they don’t know that is just what we needed that day to be reminded that we are not in this alone. To remind us what we are doing here and to remind us that we are just one part of the body of Christ- because let’s be honest- we couldn’t handle the responsibility of being more than one small part. There are things we want to invest that we simply couldn’t do by ourselves. And there are days we feel our own frailty and shortcomings. When the demands start before the coffee does- a little encouragement goes a long way.

And the lesson is this: that we are ALL called. And “called” doesn’t mean what you think. Some of you will be called to go to foreign lands and share Christ with those who have never heard the Gospel. Most of you probably won’t. But you are still called. If you belong to Christ He has a purpose for you in every day. Only He knows what that looks like. Learn to cling tight and listen for His instructions. But don’t miss them because they sound insignificant or don’t make sense to you. 

Somewhere along the way we bought into the lie that we only serve God when it looks “big”- when it involves great sacrifice. And yes, Jesus may very well ask us to sell everything and give it to the poor- that’s Biblical, folks. Sorry! 

But He could just as easily ask you to send a friend a note of encouragement. Or He may tell you who needs those clothes you just cleaned out of your kid’s closet. It may be feeding your friend a fruit smoothy and giving her an hour to talk – or even- to NOT talk. It could be a meal, a note, a call, an invitation. It could be taking cookies to that neighbor you wouldn’t recognize if they were standing next to you in the grocery store line. I mean, seriously- our neighbors- they have souls.

And then there are the orphans. And we are suppose to care for them. I have seen estimates that there are anywhere from 143 million to 160 million orphans in the world. No one will serve them all. But we can all serve. Some will adopt, some will host or foster, some will donate money or time. Others will pick up the phone and call a friend who is doing one of those things and ask “do you need anything”?

Because here is the thing- it all matters. And if you want to love there is a good chance that the person standing right in front of you needs it. God has given you exactly what you need to fulfill your call. It won’t be comfortable but it won’t be impossible. And it WILL be rewarding.

So what is it He is prompting you to do today? We will never know unless we take the time to sit and listen- and the answer might just surprise us.

Because it all matters. And the most radical kind of obedience is not the “biggest” or most showy.

 It’s the kind that shows up everyday. 

People are messy

Yesterday was hard. HARD. 

I wanted to cry.  Let's be honest. I cried. In the privacy of my closet I had a moment. In that moment I wanted to quit. There.... I said it. 

Today has officially been a week since Vika got here so it is probably normal for everyone to be tired. Before she came, I thought that things were always a bit “chaotic” with four children running around. Now I realize that there is a rhythm between us all whether I realized it or not. At times it is almost like a finely tuned orchestra. My children know me. They know my looks and they know when its intended for them. With only the lift of an eyebrow I can remind Isabella to use her “inside voice”. My children know my habits, routines, and pet peeves. They know me so well that when Kayla sits next to me in the passenger seat she automatically reaches into my purse and pulls out my sunglasses before I ask if she can hand them to me. 

Finely tuned orchestra.

And then.

Then someone completely new comes into the picture and its like adding a drummer with completely different sheet music. Suddenly, mainly because of a language barrier- there is a shift and much of the energy of the house revolves around her. Much of my energy revolves around her. And she is 13, but she rarely really IS 13. She is so needy in some ways- like in the area of affection or reassurance- that at times she makes the 6 year old look independent. And five minutes later she is mimicking me and trying to be the Mama- and she is clearly not- and her attempts to be Mama aren’t appreciated by anyone including me. There are cultural differences so vast that I can’t jump the hurdles without explanation and I find it hard to explain via unpredictable translators.

We went swimsuit shopping yesterday which should have been my first clue it was going to be a hard day! I mean, really? Swimsuit shopping with an American teenager - my teenager - made for a stressful day that day! We found a swimsuit and tried to get out of the store but she didn’t understand why I wouldn’t buy her the other things she asked for. She has no concept of money much less how to manage it. America certainly is not the land of moderation- and its hard to communicate the reasons for "no" when everything she knows and sees here screams “the land of excess”.

So it was impossible to know if what appeared to be a bad mood was really pouting or sadness or a sign that she was weary after an entire week of not even being able to speak because no one would understand you if you did. I mean, I'd probably fall out and die if I had to go a whole week. Y'all know me- I'm a wordy girl. 

The thing is… people are messy. And there are reasons behind their behavior whether we see it or not. For six days she has picked Gavin up constantly, kissing all over him and tickling him and getting chaos started. While I spend my time trying to get him to settle down- she spends all her time getting him riled up and making him squeal and run around the house. I try to nicely correct her and tell her when its too much and really time to quit - navigating the land mines of a fragile, delicate child that easily misunderstands correction for rejection. I just decide to overlook the fact that though I don’t allow him to have gum he has been through a pack of hers since she has been here because I need to pick my battles and the other things bother me more. And then finally, when I am frustrated beyond belief- she reveals that though there are small children in her orphanage- she is not allowed to play with them. She can see them- but is not allowed to interact. And suddenly it starts to make sense. To be able to reach out and interact with a small child- its a luxury and a joy she has never known. Its not just a joy to be loved- its an unfamiliar luxury to be able to love. 

Yes, people are messy. In general they are messy. People behave the way they do for a reason. And we unknowingly make decisions all day about which ones will receive our kindness and our grace based on their behavior. We base it on behavior that is usually driven by hurt and brokenness. I do it all day everyday. 

And she has challenged me.

I made the extra effort with her only because though I cannot see the brokenness that drives her behavior, I know it is there. And this gives me the ability- through MUCH begging and pleading with God for help- to love her anyway. But a million times a day everyday I make snap judgements about the lady in front of me at Walmart or the cashier at the grocery store and decide they are just rude. I don’t care about their brokenness because my world revolves around me and my time, my convenience, and my agenda. But His agenda is for a broken world and for broken, messy people to know Him.

And this morning, I see for the first time the vast distances between His agenda and mine. 

But I also remember how much He loves me.

Even though I’m messy. 

Mirror, Mirror

I ask repeatedly, “is there something new you want to try” or “is there something else you would like to experience?” and she doesn’t even know what to ask for. Brian recounts the times he told people in Iraq that here we have paved roads everywhere, and big houses, and more than one car – only have them shake their heads and reply “yeah, right.” Her mind can’t wrap around my world anymore than I can wrap my mind around hers. I could give her so much more. Her dreams, though important to me, seem so extremely small in comparison to what I have to offer. And I hear God whispering about how familiar this looks.

You have not because you ask not.

She studies my face and it must be scrunched up in disapproval- probably because of the noise level coming from the 3 and 6 year olds squealing when they know to use "inside voices" in the house. But my look of disapproval is immediately interpreted as meant for her and she frantically looks around for what is making me upset or what she needs to be doing. After dinner she wipes the table clean in an obvious attempt to try and earn favor or be seen as having value. Silly girl. We wiped out our savings account- and put some dreams on hold and in God’s hands for one single goal- to show you that you do have worth; to show you that you are so much more valuable that you know. It breaks my heart when you try to earn my love or prove you have value. We already know that. It’s YOU that needs to believe it. Again He whispers softly.

Silly girl. Do you not remember that I already came for you? My one and only Son… and His blood spilled all over a cross to buy you back from the darkness?

Yes, in so many ways she is a mirror. But I wish she would stop trying so hard and just enjoy what we are trying to give her. I wish she could get to know us and then she might realize how much she could really ask for and receive. Lord, why can’t she just see that?

Why can’t you?

And its true, ya know. A little over 10 years ago something remarkable happened. I realized I needed a relationship with God. And I believed what I heard- that even though I could never be good enough and could never be perfect- that He had made a way for me to live forever in heaven with Him anyway. To be a daughter. He had made a great sacrifice and sent His only Son, His spotless, perfect, Holy Son. And He didn’t just die. He drank down every ounce of God’s wrath- the wrath that I deserved- the wrath evoked by every lie I ever told, every sin I ever committed…. Jesus drank that cup of wrath and turned it over empty. None left for me. None. 

There is no wrath left for those of us who believe. Then He gave His very life. For me. And for you. And if we would just believe then we are adopted as sons and daughters- with access to more than we could ever imagine or know to ask for.

And yet....

Sometimes I find myself working for the wrong reasons. You know- just in case He changes His mind about me. (I mean, I would if I were Him). But His promises say He never will. And it’s unfitting- a daughter behaving so much like an orphan.

But something magical is happening here. The more I realize how little I have to offer God- the more free I feel to walk in His grace. The more I want to worship. The more I want to dance and sing with joy. The more I want to tell others.

I certainly want to tell her.

And I have this crazy thought. Maybe, just maybe, this is why God designed us to function “in the body of Christ”. Maybe we were not suppose to slave away wasting precious energy hiding our weaknesses. Maybe the whole point is to walk openly and be so aware of His grace that it easily flows to others. Her weaknesses draw out my compassion and grace. And they mirror for me my own weaknesses so I can be more aware of His.

Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who’s the purest of them all?

 Jesus. No one but Jesus.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8 

“to the One who remembered us in our low estate
His love endures forever.
and freed us from our enemies, 
His love endures forever.
and who gives food to every creature.
His love endures forever.

Give thanks to the God of heaven. 
His love endures forever.”   Psalm 136:23-26

Day 5 - America

Yesterday was a great day. Equipped with a good night's sleep I woke up ready for whatever the day would bring and as it turned out, it was pretty laid back anyway. We hung around the house all day and finally that afternoon I had to run the grocery store. Vika wanted to go so she and Kayla piled in the van with me and we headed to Publix. I just didn't think I wanted to introduce Vika to Walmart in Phenix City on the 4th of July. (Its still a little overwhelming for me, folks.) 



She was very excited to go and really wanted to push the cart. We walked through the store and she was rather quiet except for the few times she saw something she recognized. The she would say "Mama! Sausage!" as if to show off her English. I decided to get some soda, which is a treat at our house since I don't want the kids drinking it in a regular basis. I picked it up and showed her and said "soda" and she smiled and said "Coca-cola". Yes, coca cola is another one of those universal things! She didn't ask for anything while we were there so I pulled out my handy dandy Google translator to ask if there was something special she would like to try. She smiled and shrugged. She didn't even know what to ask for. I already had a few treats planned over the next week so we headed out and she finally asked for a pack of gum at the register. This girl loves her gum. 




We came home and I made dinner before we headed to the 4th of July celebration downtown. We joined up with some friends and watched some people performing before the fireworks show. It amazes me the little things that bring such awe for Vika. Of course she was extremely excited to see the crowds, the vendors, and all of the excitement. But she showed genuine awe and excitement when people would lose their balloons and they flew up in the sky. I mean the girl still expresses awe over ice cubes. Yes, ice cubes. She puts them in her cup and pushes them down a few times to watch them float back up. 

Sorry about the picture quality- I was taking them with my phone!

So, we had been looking forward to her experiencing the fireworks. And she was excited as we had predicted. It is such a rewarding thing. When Brian and I had all the kids in bed last night he compared it to all those special moments you get to experience as your child grows up- and you witness all their firsts and the wonder and excitement that comes along with it. When you host a child who comes from hard places where they have nothing, you get the honor of witnessing all those firsts wrapped up in one week. He commented, "Its a strange thing to be able to check off someone's entire bucket list in a week". I agree. It's an odd feeling. 

I don't recommend taking firework pictures with a phone. But whatev. 

America!!!

I spent 11 years as a military wife so I suppose I will always feel pride when I hear the national anthem and always get a little teary when they raise a flag. I have had a glimpse of the sacrifice behind that flag. But to watch these celebrations with someone who knows nothing of our abundant blessings.... makes me more aware than ever how much we have. Brian spent three years in Iraq and has witnessed so much that gives him some frame of reference to understand what it might be like for her to have nothing and come here and suddenly have everything. I have never known anything but American abundance so it's hard to wrap my mind around. 



It is overwhelming because as great as it is it begs the question... what then? Are we making a long term impact? We felt called to live out Isaiah 1:17 and bring justice to the orphan but I keep praying "Lord, what does justice for Vika look like"? But I know I tend to rush ahead. So I remind myself that it is only Day 5. And I remember how excited she was and how tight she squeezed me before bed. And I have to be thankful for that and rest in something I heard in a song yesterday at that celebration. 



"No one knows what tomorrow holds except the One who holds tomorrow." 
                        - Jonathan and Lisa Moore






God bless America. 

Day 4 - A Promise Is A Promise

Today started out a little rough. I woke up exhausted and there were plenty of demands waiting for me before I even poured my coffee. At noon I finally got a shower. At 3:00 I finally ate lunch. But I brought back mandatory naptime- for the boys at least- and told the girls they had to find something quiet to do. Vika was happy to draw quietly with Isabella while the boys slept and Mama sat on the couch listening to the quiet and getting reacquainted with her sanity.

After naptime it was getting late but I had promised her that I would take her to buy yarn today. So, off we went to Hobby Lobby. Vika got to pick a color for the blanket Kayla planned to make her. Then I let her pick yarn for herself to knit something. Of course, she only picked one skein of yarn and I don’t know of a project that doesn’t take at least two. So I had to encourage her to get two and told her if she needed more we could come back. I bought her some knitting needles and she seemed to know what kind she needed so I am curious to see if “enjoys” knitting is the same as "being good at knitting”. Either way, if it entertains her and makes her happy it’s a win I guess.

Speaking of promises, Papa showed her “how to make the hamburger”.  :)  She was really excited to get to help. We all had dinner and she seemed to enjoy eating together and even helping. 

She asked to wipe down the table and wanted to help me dry the dishes. I wonder at times if she wants to help or just feels the need to impress us. I wish I could see into her thoughts to know the difference. But for now I encourage her helping so she sees the “real” parts of being a family- working as a team. I hope it makes her feel less “out of place".

Four days in she still hasn’t asked any questions about us despite me asking repeatedly if there is anything she would like to know. I think I would feel better if she was curious, but maybe the new hasn’t worn off yet. All in all, today was a pretty good day.

To cap off the night I had one last promise to keep. Gavin was the only one who hadn’t gotten to run an errand with Mama today and I think he senses the most that there is less of Mama to go around. So we went down to the store together- just Gavin and Mama- and I let him pick out whatever candy his heart desired just as I had promised. He went for some little $ .25 candy and got all excited. “Mama, can I get one to share with the others”? I smiled at his request. “You can get five; one for everyone”.

His face lit up. “One for everybody? YEAH!” and he counted them out and proudly carried them to the counter. Then he brought home his bag and marched around the house handing them out one by one. Once everyone else had theirs he sat to open his own.

One for the others. 

Yes, Gavin, I do believe we are starting to get it. Be excited about the little things but never, ever forget about “the others”. 

Day 3 - A New Level

Mama is tired. TIRED.


I have reached the level just after exhausted. I underestimated how draining it would be to have another "little" one around who needs so much of me. I'm not saying I have regrets- not saying its not rewarding... its just a new level of tired. Maybe it will get easier as we find some sort of rhythm. Somehow when I prayed that I wanted to be poured out for another I overlooked the "poured out" part. I'll be honest, there was a moment today that I sat in the quiet of the garage and just sat realizing how much I miss "normal". But it was just a piece of my day, and the rest of the day made it worth it. There is too much to write so I will stick to the highlights.


Our communication is getting better as we picked up more Ukrainian and she picks up more English. Or maybe she is just becoming confident enough to say words that were already familiar from her classes- I don't know. Unfortunately now my kids are talking to me with charades and I am answering them in broken Ukrainian and broken English. The low point of the day would have to be when the boys had a fight that actually went Aiden: "Net!" (no) Gavin: "DAH!" (yes) Aiden: "NET!" Gavin: "DAH!!!!" Net! Dah! Net! Dah!   I mean... REALLY?! Come on. Of course, I am writing the transliteration because they have a different alphabet, but you get the picture. If you ask me a question right now I might say "Dah" or I might say "yes". At this point I might say "si!" (not even either language, and not even a language I speak). . 


We found out a lot more about Vika's story. It isn't pretty, and it isn't going to get shared here. Sorry. It isn't my story and I am having trouble processing it myself, but I am feeling very protective of her. And her story is hers.  I’ll only share this- that her Papa died when she was two. I share this because if you know me then you know I have this thing about Papas being super important in a girl’s life. And because it puts the rest of this post in much better perspective… and the whole point of writing this is so you can see it with me through my eyes


I also learned what foods she likes. And I learned that she REALLY likes Justin Beiber - (you can go ahead and mark that as another low point, haha)! Just kidding. She actually LIKES to try new foods. And speaking of foods... Nana (Babuska!) came over today to meet Vika and bring the kids some cupcakes. Cause that's just what our Nana does.

Our Nana happens to make especially good cupcakes. Vika liked them, and even after she had been off playing came back to ask me how to say "the cupcakes were very, very good" to my mom. 

Gavin thought they were good too. 

He said "I'm just staring at them." But I was sure if I turned my back he would have another. We are suppose to flee from temptation, Gavin. Flee. 

So what happened after Nana left tickled me so much that I was sure it was going to be the highlight of the day. I was asking Vika what she wanted to do while she was here. Other than her dream to learn to ride a bicycle, what other dreams did she have? What experiences did she want to have while in America? She thought a minute and then motioned “swim”. Yes, a friend had already offered to have us over Saturday to swim, although I doubt she has ever seen a pool like the ones we have here. I pressed on… “what else, Vika?” almost wondering if I was pushing it and she would start to ask for things we can’t make happen. Suddenly her face lit up and she had clearly thought of something. She started reaching for the computer and frantically trying to type something into the translator (which takes FOR-EV-ER when you are using an American keyboard for another alphabet)! The translators only work halfway so its usually like playing wheel of fortune… you guess to fill in the blanks for words that don’t translate correctly (or at all). Something about Papa. Mama, please. Papa intelligence something…. Blah blah blah. Hmm, that can’t be right. I asked if she wanted to see Papa’s work? No. She must want to know something. Finally I guessed correctly. You want Papa to teach you to cook? YES! This is hilarious for a couple of reasons. Mostly because Brian made fried rice yesterday. If you know Brian, you know he only cooks fried rice or grills. (Well, there are rumors he cooks well when I am gone but plays dumb to avoid working an oven… but I digress). She typed into the computer with all of the excitement of a kid on Christmas morning. She wanted Papa to teach her to make the hamburger. Please, Mama. Please. So I explained Mama is actually the cook in the family and we had to cook the chicken before it went bad. But, tomorrow Papa would make the burgers and teach her how. Christmas morning, folks. The girl loves her some hamburgers. Tonight, I let her help and she was so excited to help. Actually eating the vegetables was just ok…. let’s just say it wasn’t a hamburger.  

So I laughed so hard about all that I was sure it was the highlight. But the next highlight was on a new level. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I will let it speak for itself. When I first looked through the lens I had to put it down a second and pull myself together because I got so choked up.

No words. 

So proud of Isabella, too for cheerfully sharing her bike. And her Papa. :) 

This guy is always there to provide some comic relief.

 They played outside until after dark. Some neighbor kids came over to see Kayla and Vika played basketball with them until I insisted they all come in and shower. I need to reinforce bedtime. Our day felt so packed even when I intentionally made it a day at home. Packed, and poured out. I guess you've gotta call that a good day.

"With God all things are possible."

Misconceptions and Revelations - Day 2

I guess before I continue any further I can address some misconceptions that have come up. The first being that some people seem to think we are brave.... or worse, "awesome". I shudder a little bit at that because I know me. I am only in this because there is that part of me that believes that if God has shown me this much grace and love He will use me to show the same to others. A more accurate description would be, as they say, a beggar just telling other beggars where to find bread. I appreciate all of your kind words, emails, texts, etc though and I do know what you are trying to say. It stirs my heart to see God working in others and I am glad to hear that sharing what He is doing here has stirred some of yours. 

I know the question is on the tip of your tongues so I might as well address it. Everyone wants to know if we are going to end up adopting Vika. I'm going to be just as honest as I know how- we didn't enter this with that intention. There would be a million and one barriers to making that happen. We are taking deep breaths and taking this day by day.... 110% confident that God is actively at work and has a SPECIFIC plan for this sweet girl. His ways are not our ways and His ways are ALWAYS better... so we are taking one day at a time and clinging to Him as our guide as we try to figure out our part here. 


So one day at a time is how we entered day 2. The language barrier is hard but she is beginning to attempt to say a few words and we are learning a few of hers. We fumble our way through communicating and she is getting more comfortable here. We took her to church this morning and she was clinging to us like glue, yet seemed happy. Brian made fried rice for lunch and she loved it. She was amazed that not only can Mama drive but Papa can cook! Amazing! :) 


Some things are universal. 


Like painting nails. 


And braiding hair.... 

... And ice cream! 

We went to an ice cream social at church and she had a blast. She made herself a huge bowl of ice cream and clearly began to feel more comfortable there. I'm so, so thankful for my church and how they have been so eager to just love on her. 

Aiden (6) must have said her name 543895830425 times today. Brian and I joked we would be so tired of him if we were her, but she seems to adore him. When he isn't speaking Spanish words to her he is talking like normal but moving his hands around as if that counts as charades. "Vika, Vika, Vika, Vika.... VIKA!" Oh my. But she picks him up and hugs him tight, smiles at him and says "I love you"!

I think she was surprised to find that Brian is very silly and actually plays with the kids. When she got here she didn't know exactly what to think of him, but after his antics she has warmed up and will even go up to him for a hug. I want you to know I have permission to post the following video. Thanks, Brian, for being a good sport. AND an awesome dancer! 

Yes, folks... that is how Brian won her over. By the way, she tried the Just Dance game, too. This girl isn't afraid to try new things. I keep wondering about her story and it is like each day I get a new piece of the puzzle, but only one at a time. 

Today that piece was a good one. I asked her how to say Jesus and then I told her Jesus loves her. She smiled and said "yes." I asked if she knew that and her eyes lit up and she said "yes!" I asked HOW she knew that and she smiled warmly and replied "babuska". 

Grandma. 

Our conversation was interrupted as the girls yelled that someone was shooting fireworks. All the kids ran outside and I followed behind wanting to see her reaction to these things I had tried to explain to her. A distant neighbor shot one up and she said "WHOA" and then clapped and squealed with excitement. 

When the excitement died down I wanted to ask her more but I decided it had been a long day and I was exhausted so I told them it was bedtime. She seems thrilled that I tuck her in at night. I wonder if she has ever been tucked in or if it has just been a really, really long time. I guess I will see the big picture eventually, but for now God seems content to reveal one little piece at a time. For now His instructions are clear and simple "cling to Me the way she clings to you. Follow Me as closely as she follows you." 

So we follow. 

Day 1

This Mama is too tired to blog a long or coherent blog, but there were a few things I wanted to record because I want to remember them. 


First was the airport arrival. She spotted us immediately and began to wave, patiently waiting her turn to be introduced. I had worried how she would feel about being hosted in a home with small children because she probably wasn't use to them. When she came around she gave us big hugs one by one. We all tried our best to say "hi" in her language... which is privit (pree-veet). She smiled and said it to us. I bent down and was trying to help Gavin to say it. He looked troubled and stuttered "pree..... preee.... ". Vika bent down until she was right at eye level, looked him right in the eye, smiled big and said "hallo." Maybe you had to be there. We all laughed so hard. You could say she had us at Privit. 


We came home, fed her pizza (ok, ok so this probably wasn't on the suggested food list. But she ate some cheese pizza with no sauce and she liked it!) I used charades to show her how to shower and luckily I had written in her language what each bottle was. She later thanked me for taking the time to do that. She is grateful for everything. She was overwhelmed when given a choice between two shirts. OVERWHELMED. She was happy just to be given a new one. She asked if she could wash her other clothes in the sink, and though she seemed uneasy, she trusted me enough to let me take them from her when I promised to clean them and give them back. 


The girls and I took her for a quick trip to Target to get a few necessities. She was a bit overwhelmed BUT, like any teenage girl she did know what she liked and did say "no" and shake her head when I showed her a few things. We all laughed a lot on that trip, too. She speaks zero English. She calls me Mama, and was VERY impressed that Mama could drive a car. 


Many times today I felt the gravity of this all. I had to walk away a few times as her reality began to sink in. She is here- with a tiny plastic bag that contains everything she owns. She is so hungry for love. We asked what she would most like to do this summer -- for one wish-- and she said "I would like to learn to ride a bike." 


I'm pretty speechless tonight and I haven't processed much so I am going to end this here, for now. I don't know what tomorrow holds, much less the next two months. All I can think of is something David Platt said that rings in my ears tonight.... 


“We learned that orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes.” – David Platt.


I don't know what God is doing, but something's changing.